What Do Others Think?

Ashley S.

http://asako12.blogspot.com/

“In comparison with the last book, I find Williams to be very helpful. He approaches the topic of writing with the assumption that we have some knowledge of what we're doing. Reading Strunk and White was like reading Writing For Dummies. I also liked that Williams started off broadly in his approach, describing bad writing, why we do it, and then progressed slowly so you could almost envision yourself setting the book down and writing something marvelous. It made me realize how many stupid things I've done writing papers, tap-dancing around, rather than getting to a clear point (or POINT haha) and effectively validating that point. Even as I'm writing this blog, I keep correcting myself as I notice little things I do which he has pointed out as bad writing.

I didn't find Strunk and White very effective. Most of the rules they explained were common sense to me. There were a few things I hadn't known before, but for the most part I found the whole thing boring. As was mentioned in the group discussion, a lot of the rules were very nit-picky (sp?), meaning they weren't always applicable or were outdated, and were most likely put in the book because of the author’s personal preferences. If I were a college English Prof. I would most definitely recommend Williams' book to every writer. I think there is a lot to be gained from reading it, as well as using it for a reference in the future.”

I like Ashley S.’ discussion comparing being told what to do versus being offered suggestions, examples, and explanations for improvement. Since Strunk and White did write a more “Writing For Dummies” command manual than an actual guide, their book made me standoffish. Readers don’t like to be insulted and told what to do without justification.

I agree that Williams was a fresh change right off the bat because “he approaches the topic of writing with the assumption that we have some knowledge of what we’re doing.” Immediately, that makes a reader feel welcome and comfortable with the author. Williams also did not insult the reader or bad writing, but explained that it’s a common occurrence, provided reasons why we do it, and then reasons for becoming better writers and how.

The book’s progression was slow and while it was a longer and more difficult read than Strunk and White, I was able to follow Williams and see how each chapter built off of the previous and how the progression moved towards better writing. I did feel after reading it that I could be a better writer because I was given concrete examples and explanations and how-to guides. Best of all, being given so much practice with style exercises I think back on previous writing and all of the simple and not-so-simple mistakes I made, allowing me to be more aware of my current and future writing.

Jason C.

http://jcanfield-jcanfield.blogspot.com/

“…in Strunk and White, the rules were just given to the reader which I took as a "take it or leave it" type of approach. Strunk and White present a black and white approach to style and good writing, Williams on the other hand leaves us with more gray areas, making us think a little harder. For instance, toward the end of Williams' book Chapter 10 when he talks about Precision he states "Wherever you take your stand" (197). This leads me to believe here that this is one of those gray areas, basically, he is saying okay, here are a bunch of different rules and approaches I presented you with, now you decide what you will take and use in your writing. Strunk and White did not do this at all…However, I did find that Strunk and White was a easier and more straightforward read.”

I liked Jason C’s discussion here comparing Strunk and White with Williams. I have posted previously that Strunk and White’s novel made me feel both insulted – since some of the rules were elementary – and defensive, since they attacked many things I do in my writing without explaining why they are wrong or how to fix them. I think this is what Jason is talking about in describing Strunk and White’s book as having a “take it or leave it” approach. When I think about it, the authors were saying ‘this is what good writing is: do it and you’re a good writer, don’t are you’re not.” They offered little middle ground or room for the individual to put their own unique style into their writing. Instead of offering “gray” suggestions that would allow a writer to follow the rules but also bend them for the sake of personal style, Strunk and White only offered the good versus the bad.

Jason states that Williams offers us a different approach and provides more general statements and advice, but unlike Strunk and White, backs them up and gives examples and exercises. Williams also offers his advice without commanding. He leaves room for exceptions and personal style as long as writers master the basics and are in control of their writing. Like Jason said, this may be preferable to Strunk and White’s “take it or leave it approach” but it isn’t necessarily any easier. Williams encourages writers to take responsibility for their own writing rather than simply instruct them to follow his rules, no questions asked. He allows writers a freedom and a variety of choices, which Strunk and White do not.

Comparing Strunk & White with Williams

I preferred Williams’ Style Toward Clarity and Grace because unlike Strunk and White’s Elements of Style, Williams actually gives tips on how to improve your writing. Elements of Style was a good reference tool because it listed commonly misused words and phrases as well as basic grammatical rules. However, further into the book, Strunk and White tell the reader what not to do (i.e. writing in the passive voice, being too wordy, empty phrases) without directly telling the reader how to fix the problems. Also, in reading Elements of Style I felt like my own personal writing style was being attacked while “standard”, clear and concise writing was preferred. While I felt attacked and defensive, I didn’t understand why my writing style was considered so inferior. I think that individual writing style distinguishes one reader from the next and I didn’t like being told to follow the standard. Doing so seemed to mean ignoring my own style of writing and replacing it with what someone else preferred. Since I felt so defensive, it was difficult to take anything away from reading Elements of Style other than basic reminders of grammatical rules and criticisms of how I write but with no help in improving it.

Thankfully, Williams’ Style Toward Clarity and Grace was a great improvement from Elements of Style. Williams explained the benefits of clear and concise writing as well as how to do it. There are many examples in the book that show an “incorrect” passage, describe what’s wrong with it, and then alter it to make it better. Reading over the many examples and justifications for revision taught me a lot more than simply being told I was wrong and needed to stop.

In Chapter 6, I really liked the discussion of the “POINT.” We have done the same exercises in several of my literature classes to find a thesis or the best sum-it-all-up sentence in a paragraph. The exercises in the book also helped me too see how without a strong “POINT” sentence, a paragraph seems week and unfocused. When I revise my Writing Technology paper, I’ll definitely go through to find a “POINT” in each paragraph.

Another section of Style Towards Clarity and Grace that I found helpful was in Chapter 7 when Williams discusses redundant pairs and modifiers, meaningless modifiers and pompous diction. He describes how they are empty tools used as fillers and then broke down each category to show how the phrases could be said more simply, often in one word. I had always thought it was best to avoid using “because” and “since” and “and” repeatedly, but I can see how using longer phrases adds unnecessary length to a sentence, can break up the rhythmic flow, and even confuse the reader.

What I liked best about Williams’ book, however, was the final chapter on elegance. Something I had feared in reading Strunk and White’s and then Williams’ books was that the authors were telling me not write like them. I like wordy prose but I understand now that there is a place for that type of writing (which is not in concise, persuasive writing) but also that there is a method to “elegant” writing. Elegant writing doesn’t mean using the fillers and prose carelessly, but mastering clarity and conciseness first and then bringing personal style and elegance to a piece of writing.

Williams on "Style"

Taken from the Undergraduate Course Catalog:

Registration:

…Financial obligations must be met by students by the posted due dates in order for students to be eligible for the next registration period (or graduation.) Transcripts, diplomas, or other statements of record will be withheld and students will be ineligible for further registration until obligations have been fulfilled.

Cancellation of registration by a student who decides not to return to EMU after registering in advance for classes must be initiated by the student on a signed cancellation-of-registration form either in person or by letter to the Office of Records and Registration, 303 Pierce Hall… (Undergraduate Course Catalog, Registration pg. 8)

As I read through the Undergraduate Course Catalog, nothing stuck out to me in the way of “bad writing” until I reached the above passage. It is written in the passive voice and that made it difficult for me to understand. It is not written clearly and most of the nouns are being acted upon rather than doing the acting. In my opinion, academic material such as the course catalog should be written in plain terms so that the masses can understand it. Though it sounds “professional”, it’s really just too wordy and complicated.

For example, why “must financial obligations be met?” Instead, shouldn’t “students must meet financial obligations?” Here, the financial obligations must be acted upon by a subject, when really the subject should be acting. We know that “transcripts, diplomas, or other statements” will be withheld, but who is withholding them? These extra “of’s and will be’s” add bulk to the writing without saying anything at all. Instead, it’s taking away from the clarity and conciseness of the writing.

The next paragraph gets even more complex. Punctuation is absent and the sentence runs on and on. The paragraph wraps up the reader in wordy, confusing language, detracting from what the paragraph is truly trying to say, which is: “Students who choose not to return to EMU even after registering in advance must cancel registration by filling out a “Cancellation-of-Registration” form. They can do this either in person or by letter to the Office of Records and Registration at 303 Pierce Hall.” By rearranging the nouns, subject, and verbs to create more “active” writing, the paragraph becomes distinctly clearer.

Also, why must the form be a “cancellation-of-registration” instead of a “Registration Cancellation” form? By eliminating the “of” and switching the noun and verb, even the title of the form becomes more understandable. These minor revisions align with the advice Williams gives in his Clarity and Coherence chapters. Writing more actively is a major way to improve writing in that is makes writing more coherent. What I’ve done in my revisions is eliminate verbs-turned-noun and bring action back to the subject, just as Williams recommends.

“When we turn verbs into nouns and then delete the characters, we fill a sentence with abstraction:” (Williams 24)

Ex. “Transcripts, diplomas, or other statements of record will be withheld and students will be ineligible for further registration until obligations have been fulfilled.” (UCC 8)

But…”When we use subjects to name characters and verbs to name their actions, we write sentences that are more specific and concrete.” (Williams 24)

Revised Ex. “The University will withhold transcripts, diplomas, or other statement records and students will be ineligible for further registration until they have fulfilled their obligations.”

So, my final revision is as follows:

Registration

Students must meet financial obligations by the posted due dates in order to be eligibly for the next registration period (or graduation.) The University will withhold transcripts, diplomas, or other statement records and students will be ineligible for further registration until they have fulfilled their obligations.

Students who choose not to return to EMU even after registering in advance must cancel registration by filling out a “Cancellation-of-Registration” form. They can do this either in person or by letter to the Office of Records and Registration at 303 Pierce Hall.

It’s shorter and easier to understand, being much more ideal.

Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style"

Overall, there were things I found both helpful and insightful in The Elements of Style and then certain things that I completely disagreed with.

I think that Elements of Style is a great reference tool if one needed to look up a certain literary rule, for example: punctuation, clauses, active vs. passive voice, or using the correct meaning of a word or phrase. I found the tips on punctuation to be very helpful as they pointed out where I am making certain mistakes. I had always thought that when listing only three items, you separated the first two with a comma and not the second two. Apparently not, unless the rules have changed.

I also liked the section on “Principles of Composition” because it discussed more advanced and complex rules of writing and many that I struggle with myself. I often have trouble writing in the active voice or use language that’s too poetic and wordy. In certain cases, like analyzing a poem or great novel, this isn’t usually a big problem because my style of writing fits well with what I’m writing about. I want there to be a certain poetic-ness to my analysis. However, this style of writing doesn’t work quite so well if I have to write a research paper or discuss some fact. I like writing because it allows me to express myself on paper, when I am not quite so eloquent with speech. Yet eloquence will get me nowhere when I’m trying to write a concise, persuasive argument or summarizing history and fact in a research paper.

So while I can criticize my style and see its’ weaknesses, I also felt like I had to defend it while reading this book. I took several things personally – because I take most things personally – in this book because while the book is on style, it seemed to be more about Strunk and White’s styles rather than helping individuals to make best use of their own personal style. Take for example, point #21 on page 81, “Prefer the standard to the offbeat.” I think that style is what distinguishes one writer from the next and Strunk and White recommend following a standard rather than trying to creatively express oneself. If the purpose of one’s writing is to express oneself and reach out to a larger audience by openly expressing oneself, how and why would one choose to restrain themselves to some traditional standard? I understand in a more competitive world of writing that following the standard is important because it’s the one “dialect” of writing we all understand, but really, what is so wrong with putting one’s personality into one’s writing? If we all played writing safely and followed strict standards and worked at being concise, there would be no poetry and prose and individuality and genres.

Perhaps this is just my personal opinion because my priority is in the beauty of writing and not the mechanics, but I did take offense to Strunk and White’s recommendation to play it safe. I guess writing style relates to all aspects of humanity in this way in that you have to know when to conform so that you can fit in and be accepted, and that personal expression is risky but has the potential to distinguish you from others, whether in a good way or bad.